=Simply Rowan Atkinson=

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

My thoughts for the day... ...

Another update of my haywired life:

Friends, thank you for showering concern during these few days when my life took a wrong turn. I am slowly- and starting- to accept the fate which I am forced to face.
In the midst of my agony, there's still a streak of luck. Something unexpectedly good happened yesterday(which I will blog about it a few days later).

But no, its not about school. Nonetheless, something nice did happen yesterday about school,too.

Most of you must be wondering about my GEMS thingy. The matter was finally resolved yesterday, and I managed to get back the justice I yearned for.

The chance of me getting the GEMS I wanted was actually very low as I had missed the previous appointments. But still, I waited for 9pm to arrive. (My allocated appointment) With my heart thumping against my chest as fast as ever, I logged into the page when the clock struck 9.

Pinning a bit of hope (I dared not pin much), I quickly tried to search for my desired GEMS. My heart sank when I discovered that all the places were already taken up. The application for it was closed. C-L-O-S-E-D.

Though it was expected, I still can't help feeling disheartened.

Determined to get it once more, I went back to the main page and did the same process over again. AND MIRACULOUSLY, the application was OPEN, and there was 1 place awaiting me. I could not believe my eyes. It was the LAST and ONLY place. Someone must've dropped it at that point of time.

Silly me for still using Mozilla Firefox for it. I did not know that the page does not support the browser, and it simply refused to load the page after my selection! I was panicking, and quickly went to change back to Internet Explorer, praying hard that it won't crash on me at this time. Also, I prayed for all my might that no one will take up the last place of my GEMS while I was changing the browser. (Anything can happen within seconds!)

When my Explorer browser loaded the page, I WAS AMAZED that the 1 place was still waiting there. I was like, OH MY GOODNESS GRACIOUS OMY OMY OMY!

I couldn't believe my eyes. It was like I had just seen a pile of cash on the ground and no one is picking it up. Without ANY hesitation, I clicked on it to confirm the place.

AND YES. I GOT IT. GOT IT!!

I screamed and squealed, and mind you, I really almost cried for joy. That's just how happy I was when things went way I wanted it to. Fearing that it was my eyes playing tricks on me, I refreshed a few times to gain assurance.

YES. It was included in my timetable now. Its mine. ITS MINE!
It may seem to you that I was over-reacting, but HEY, getting a place successfully-especially one which I had yearned for sooo long-really conjure all the happiness within me. At least, there'll be something for me to look forward to in school (Provided that it doesn't turn out to be a #()*$)# GEMS.) Believe it or not, I LOVE GEMS more than my own core modules.

The chance of me getting it is extremely low, and that means I lost the bet to myself. (As I had mentioned earlier, I will quit if I can't get the GEMS I wanted, and of course send another complaint letter before that.)

Yeah yeah. You must be thinking I am such a complain queen. But at least, I complain for MY benefits and the justice I know I deserve AS A STUDENT. If I do not want to be at a losing end, complaining is the only way to make my point across. Sometimes, it really does help. In the modern society, we NEED to fight for our rights to survive better. Noone else is going to do that for you.

Nevertheless, the burning question: Will I quit or not?

The answer is: Not at the moment, but maybe will at a later timing. I need to see how things go first in my first semester. I should know by that time if I CAN or CANNOT cope. (As you know, I only need to study 3 modules for my current year.)

Of course, I will also be submitting applications and appeals at the same time while I am at it. In this way, if I am given a chance to be accepted in other places (I hope!), I will know what to do, too. I admit, quitting now is like taking a risk. And to be honest, I am not prepared to take that risk. I need to give myself some time and trust myself. I know and HOPE I will not let myself and my parents down. I feel that I have really good parents, and they certainly don't deserve having an incapable daughter. For now, I just wish that bad things will take a turn for the better.

So how about private schools, you ask? Sometimes its not that I do not want to, but its something concerning your financial status. A skill and future is nothing without a stable finance to start with. In life, MONEY is a necessity element.
Think about it. If you do not have the "capital" to get you started in the school, will you be where you are now? Will you still have the equipped skills that you currently have? Come to think of it, everything revolves around MONEY. That's life. You won't possibly get to have an official recognition without MONEY. You won't get opportunities without MONEY.

You won't get to be a STUDENT at all without MONEY.

And YOU WON'T GET AN OFFICIAL DIPLOMA WITHOUT MONEY.

(But of course, I don't deny that some poor people indeed get to be SUCCESSFUL in their later part of lives. That's a different fate for you.)

Honestly, if I have the adequate money, I will be enrolling into a private school that caters to my interest already or whichever place I deem suitable for myself.

Sometimes its not that my family do not have the money, but I do not want to cause a financial strain, especially with noone working in my family at all. Money is a hindrance behind every dream. If you dream to be a boss of yourself one day too, you'll need money. And please, no suggestions about going to the loansharks or having your house as a mortgage. That will be equivalent to putting your life at risk.

Can't you see the cruelty that exists in our world of reality? Either its MONEY, or you depend on connections to get you success.

Of course... ...
Pursuing dreams are accompanied by opportunities (be it FREE or not) that come along. I was such a failure to waste a free golden opportunity years ago. I will learn to treasure, and appreciate each and every opportunity now.

Behind every success, there is at least an obstacle... I seek no sympathy, because I know working is probably my last and best resort after I graduate/drop out from school.

I will earn my own money to provide the best for myself. In this way, I won't cause a financial strain to my parents, and if possible... ...give them the best life a daughter can ever give. :-)

About

Name: Catherine
Singapore Polytechnic-DXDIP
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